This site uses cookies to improve your experience and to provide services and advertising.
By continuing to browse, you agree to the use of cookies described in our Cookies Policy.
You may change your settings at any time but this may impact on the functionality of the site.
To learn more see our
Cookies Policy.
Download our app
7 umbrella rules Irish people desperately need to follow
HELLO, FRIENDS. It’s currently raining in Ireland, bringing a very important issue to the fore.
RollingNews.ie RollingNews.ie
It’s recently come to our attention that, despite the climate of our fair country, Irish people do not know how to use umbrellas. We have devised a few simple rules for everyone to follow that we think will make things a lot easier. You’re welcome.
1. You don’t need a golf umbrella if you’re not golfing
Don’t use a golf umbrella on a busy street. Don’t use a golf umbrella if you are the only one under it. Don’t use a golf umbrella and let your friend use their own golf umbrella and you’re both blocking up the street with your stupid golf umbrellas.
How about we just ban golf umbrellas completely? That could be an idea.
2. Watch yourselves with those big umbrellas
Don't you dare do this. Shutterstock / Pop Paul-Catalin Shutterstock / Pop Paul-Catalin / Pop Paul-Catalin
Don’t be walking along swinging them, catching people on the ankles. Don’t hold them sideways. Have some cop on.
3. Please consider people’s eyeballs at all times
RollingNews.ie RollingNews.ie
Your umbrella could always be raised higher. Higher, even. Climb on top of that building there. Great. Now we are all safe.
4. If you absolutely must share one, the taller person must always hold it
Jens Meyer / PA Wire Jens Meyer / PA Wire / PA Wire
No one should be forced to stoop and bend thanks to another person’s shitty umbrella-holding. Give it to the taller person!
5. If your umbrella is broken, put it in the f**king bin
RollingNews.ie RollingNews.ie
Let it go. It’s dead. Those spokes will murder someone. Bin it.
6. Close it if it’s only spitting
It’s the Irish way. You look like an eejit otherwise.
7. And just say no if there’s wind AND rain
RollingNews.ie RollingNews.ie
You know in your heart that the umbrella is useless! Stop struggling.
Those are just a few suggestions we have. Anyone have any to add to the list? Put them in the comments.
DailyEdge is on Snapchat! Tap the button below to add!
The trailer for the Jumanji reboot starring The Rock is out… Here’s everything you need to know>
For everyone out there with a crippling addiction to Mooju>
To embed this post, copy the code below on your site
ella ella eh eh eh gas feeling Irish weather my feeling Rain Umbrellas